


Not another sad story

by orphan_account



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Fighting, M/M, Mickey Uses His Words, mention of suicide, mickey takes care of ian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 21:17:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1662734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the first visit of the psychiatrist, Ian loses it and gets angry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not another sad story

**Author's Note:**

> there are mentions of (failed) suicide, just as a warning.

"Fuck you!" Ian screamed. He was hysterical, shouting and kicking the doors. Throwing around furniture and swearing. "Ian!" Mickey shouted for the fourth time, trying to get through to him. Ian was on the verge of pushing the TV on the floor when Mickey grabbed him by his arms. 

 

"Ian look at me," he pulled Ian to the ground with him and they were sitting with their knees against each other. Mickey held Ian's head down and pressed their foreheads together. Ian stared at his bloody hands and he was shaking uncontrollably.  "Ian!"

 

Ian looked up, finally meeting Mickey's eyes since he started his outburst. "I hate you" Ian said softly. It was so soft but it still hit Mickey like a brick in the head. His heart felt like it was ripped out of his chest. Ian's voice sounded harsh and honest, like he really hated Mickey. 

 

"No, no you don't" Mickey was holding his stare and Ian's brows furrowed. 

 

"You called him!" Ian accused him.

 

"I had to Ian."

 

"No you didn't."

 

"Ian, fuck. You weren't eating for two weeks, you only drank half a glass of water a day and only when I forced you. The only time I found you out of bed you were breaking Mandy's razor. I had to," Mickey was talking slow and soft, trying to make Ian understand. He didn't.

 

"Yeah? Well, I wish you'd never found me," Ian whispered and he looked down again. Mickey's eyes stung, he felt the tears rolling down his cheeks and he was pretty sure his heart really was torn out of his chest right now.

 

"Ian don't.." Mickey heard the desperation in his own voice, "don't say that."

 

"Why not? It's true. I'm just a burden, I'm fucked up. Now you don't have one, but two children to take care of! I'm useless."

 

Mickey grabbed Ian's head and pulled it up so Ian looked in his eyes. "Don't you fucking dare say that, don't you dare. You're not useless, you're no burden, you're everything but that!" He said and Ian shook his head. 

 

Mickey tightened his grip so Ian couldn't move his head anymore, too weak to release himself from Mickey's hands. "You're fuckin' everything to me," Mickey whispered and a tear fell from Ian's eyes. 

 

"He's gonna help you Ian, he's gonna give you pills that will make you feel better, he's gonna talk to you and he understands what you're going through. I know you think that this can't get better but it can, you're still Ian, you're still in there, we just have to fight through this, yeah?" Mickey is surprised with himself, saying that much in one go.

 

"What if I won't" Ian whispered and he leant down into Mickey's hands, still cupping his face. "You will, and I don't care how long it takes. I promise you I'm never gonna give up on you alright? I won’t lose you again. We'll get through this together," he promised and Ian nodded softly. 

 

"I don't care how many doors you break or how much furniture you rip to pieces, I'm gonna stay here with you anyway." He said and Ian smiled. He actually smiled as he looked up. There were holes in the walls and one door was only still half attached to its frame. One poster that hung on the wall was ripped to pieces and the chair that used to be in the kitchen was now thrown next to the couch, "sorry," he said softly and Mickey just shook his head. 

 

"Don't be, you have nothing to be sorry for," Mickey said and Ian wrapped his arms around his shoulders and hid his face in Mickey's neck. 

 

"Can I call him to come back?" Mickey asked and Ian nodded. He didn't feel like talking about his feelings to a random person, he didn't feel like seeing someone other than his family. He didn't feel like being another sad story. But he would do it for Mickey, for his family and for himself. He hated feeling like this and maybe the pills would help.

 

Mickey let go and stood up, pulling Ian to his legs. He was skinnier and paler as usual. There were dark circles under his eyes and he looked exhausted. His usually pink lips were almost as white as his skin and his hair was greasy. "Please eat something?" Mickey almost begged him an Ian nodded.

 

He made a sandwich with cheese and even though Ian only ate half of it, Mickey was happy to see him eat something. He could call the doctor tonight and finally get the pills to stabilize him. Ian drank a glass of water before heading to their room.

 

"C'mere, you need a bath ," Mickey poured soap in the running bath and checked if the water was hot enough. When the tub was half full, Mickey helped Ian into it and placed himself behind him. For the first time in weeks, Ian was relaxing. He lay himself on Mickey's chest and released soft sighs as Mickey massaged his scalp with shampoo. 

 

Ian knew this side of Mickey, soft and caring, being very slow in his movements – even though the thug always kept his name as a true Milkovich and wasn't into emotional shit – he didn’t care with Ian. So here he was, washing his boyfriend and taking care of him, making sure that Ian wasn't sent away to some psych ward. Ian immediately felt a wave of guilt rushing over him. He knew he shouldn't feel guilty for his illness. But he was guilty for trying to take his own life and for shutting everyone out, even though he had no control over his actions.

 

Mickey noticed that Ian started crying when his chest started moving up and down faster and faster, and the water started to tremble. He got out and helped Ian. He gave him a new sweatpants and tank top, he tried drying Ian's hair as good as possible since it was still winter and he didn't want Ian to catch a cold on top of all that's happening now. 

 

When Ian lay down on the bed, Mickey was lying next to him and they were just looking at each other. "Thank you," Ian whispered and Mickey just nodded. Ian grabbed Mickey's hand and held it to his chest as he fell asleep. The older boy gave him a soft kiss on his lips and got closer to Ian to sleep too. 

 


End file.
